What is Love?

I think it is a 'family thang' but around here once breakfast has been consumed the first question asked is 'What are we having for lunch and dinner?' On that same note, I find myself guilty on the edge of Christmas past wondering what should we do for Valentines Day/weekend this year as it is the next major holiday.

When I look over the last few years of our very chaotic life I realise how lucky I am to be surrounded by so much love. I still have a healthy contact with my friends back in the USA thanks to the magic of email and facebook - I can feel the love (albeit electronically).

                                       

After the sterility of Swiss life for a few forgetful months ** disclaimer - not all Swiss are unfriendly ** I learned that making new friends when you are a little longer in the tooth is not as easy as it used to be, or maybe I am not as willing to work as hard at relationship building as I used to be?

When children enter into your life (no matter how they arrive on your doorstep or for how long) your capacity to love changes dramatically. What started out as a 'tight - twosome' grows into a 'messy menage a trois' with that extra body sleeping with you and your partner. In a lot of relationships this causes quite a bit of stress. The mother stops catering to the needs of a neglected husband and the child (rightly so) gets all the love and attention. I am not sure why but our little 'bed buddy' did not mess things up at all. She fit right in and it worked for us (first time around!)

Then because 'things have changed' you have to work sooooooooooo much harder at the relationship. The little ones - well that is the easy part. "Feed them, Love them, Watch them grow". For quite sometime I mourned the loss of life with my lover because I knew those days were gone and would never ever return. What I did not know then and I very much know now is that if you keep feeding the relationship it grows in a different way. Because we had a decent root system (many years of togetherness before babies - thank God) Love gets so much deeper. The bonding of babydom passes and every learns how to wipe their own bums (yeah!). Then teeny tiny moments of time return to grown ups which we greedily grab.

I got some news last week about a couple that used to frequent our restaurant quite a bit (n the USA) and they were that perfect couple. Both very beautiful, healthy, 2.5 kids, gorgeous home, great jobs etc. Apparently Mr. Perfect has been having a string of affairs for most of the time they have been together (15 + yrs). I got so mad when I heard this. I still am mad. Fecklessly we fall in love. Passionately we get married. Ambitiously we plan a family (some of us!). We endeavour to make it all work.

We are no longer selfish. We have responsibilities.

People that throw that away with reckless and selfish abandonment should be ......................................

My mother always told me if you have nothing nice to say then say 'nothing'.

                                 

LOVE is all around us. It is in the little sticky notes left on the fridge door reminding us to get something. It is that wet nose kiss from the puppy, or the extra hand squeeze before a little one lets go on his way to school each day. Whoever you are, wherever you are - whether you have love, are looking for love or have lost your love. LOVE is all around you, waiting for you. So - how will you celebrate Valentines Day this year?

That is all the WiseWords I have for today,

WiseMóna