What is Love?

I think it is a 'family thang' but around here once breakfast has been consumed the first question asked is 'What are we having for lunch and dinner?' On that same note, I find myself guilty on the edge of Christmas past wondering what should we do for Valentines Day/weekend this year as it is the next major holiday.

When I look over the last few years of our very chaotic life I realise how lucky I am to be surrounded by so much love. I still have a healthy contact with my friends back in the USA thanks to the magic of email and facebook - I can feel the love (albeit electronically).

                                       

After the sterility of Swiss life for a few forgetful months ** disclaimer - not all Swiss are unfriendly ** I learned that making new friends when you are a little longer in the tooth is not as easy as it used to be, or maybe I am not as willing to work as hard at relationship building as I used to be?

When children enter into your life (no matter how they arrive on your doorstep or for how long) your capacity to love changes dramatically. What started out as a 'tight - twosome' grows into a 'messy menage a trois' with that extra body sleeping with you and your partner. In a lot of relationships this causes quite a bit of stress. The mother stops catering to the needs of a neglected husband and the child (rightly so) gets all the love and attention. I am not sure why but our little 'bed buddy' did not mess things up at all. She fit right in and it worked for us (first time around!)

Then because 'things have changed' you have to work sooooooooooo much harder at the relationship. The little ones - well that is the easy part. "Feed them, Love them, Watch them grow". For quite sometime I mourned the loss of life with my lover because I knew those days were gone and would never ever return. What I did not know then and I very much know now is that if you keep feeding the relationship it grows in a different way. Because we had a decent root system (many years of togetherness before babies - thank God) Love gets so much deeper. The bonding of babydom passes and every learns how to wipe their own bums (yeah!). Then teeny tiny moments of time return to grown ups which we greedily grab.

I got some news last week about a couple that used to frequent our restaurant quite a bit (n the USA) and they were that perfect couple. Both very beautiful, healthy, 2.5 kids, gorgeous home, great jobs etc. Apparently Mr. Perfect has been having a string of affairs for most of the time they have been together (15 + yrs). I got so mad when I heard this. I still am mad. Fecklessly we fall in love. Passionately we get married. Ambitiously we plan a family (some of us!). We endeavour to make it all work.

We are no longer selfish. We have responsibilities.

People that throw that away with reckless and selfish abandonment should be ......................................

My mother always told me if you have nothing nice to say then say 'nothing'.

                                 

LOVE is all around us. It is in the little sticky notes left on the fridge door reminding us to get something. It is that wet nose kiss from the puppy, or the extra hand squeeze before a little one lets go on his way to school each day. Whoever you are, wherever you are - whether you have love, are looking for love or have lost your love. LOVE is all around you, waiting for you. So - how will you celebrate Valentines Day this year?

That is all the WiseWords I have for today,

WiseMóna

All Things Spring!

Before the creeping crocuses stick their heads out of the frigid earth to alert us to the fact that Spring is here, it is time to do a little Spring planning!

                                    

The Chef being an avid gardener has lived by the same planting calendar for more years than he cares to admit (especially as his birthday soon approaches). When we lived in the US - he had to start his tomato seeds by Valentines day and the rest of his garden by St. Patricks Day. Some things could be planted (outdoors) by 'Mothering Sunday' but for the most part it was Memorial Day weekend (usually last weekend in May) before he took the chance - incase of a final cold snap.

Alot of this timing has to do with what hardiness zone you live in. Now that we are in Zone 9 we can start 'seed setting' right now and will be planting a lot of items outdoors no later than St. Patricks Day. OF course because he has the Polytunnel (http://www.polytunnelsireland.ie/index.html) he can grow a lot of hardy winter crops all year round like rocket/arugula, cabbage, carrots, parsnip, turnip, parsley, sage, thyme, rosemary etc.

To find out what 'hardiness zone' you live in - click on one of the links below.

Living in Europe - click here:

http://www.uk.gardenweb.com/forums/zones/hze.html

or for those living in America

http://www.usna.usda.gov/Hardzone/ushzmap.html

On my 'wish list' this year is perpetual garlic, onions and spinach. The kids want strawberries and lots and lots of flowers. Ron is more inclined to plant an edible garden so I see a lot of colourful nasturciums in our future.

Seeing as there are a few more weeks of winter to suffer through before the ice melts for some, spend a little time taking care of your feathered friends. Around here they behave like they have not eaten in months and are scavengers when it comes to feeding time. Feeding the birds need not be an expensive hobby as they are quite happy to get your stale bread or cereal, and it is one of the most enjoyable passtimes we enjoy with the kids - absolutley free and right outside our back door!

That is all the WiseWords I have for today,

WiseMóna

Wise Movie Review - The Blind Side

This was a great 'feel good' kind of movie. A friend of ours in the US had mentioned it a few weeks ago as worth seeing, but it sat around on the back burner over the Christmas holidays until we finally had time to watch it last night.

I reckon you could call me a sorta Sandra Bullock fan. I do like her quirkiness for the most part and I think as she gets a little longer in the tooth she is more careful with her movie choices. This movie will hook both the boys and girls. Neither a Chick Flick or BroMance this is a good all-rounder for the family-feel-good effect.

                                     

The story is about a sixteen year old kid that has been raised in the projects in Mississippi. His father was never in the picture and his mother - a crack addict. He couch surfs with some of his friends and one in particular sees the athletic potential 'Big Mike' might have, were he coached and trained properly.

                                    

In comes Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw AKA "The Tuohy's" and they sort of adopt him. She catches some flack from her rich snobby white friends who think she's dealing with some white guilt and needs a new fundraiser project to distract her. Bullock does a fairly decent job in pulling of the heavy Mississippi accent and looked pretty amazing the entire way through the film (for a girl over forty!)

                                       

One of my favourites popped in for a few lines 'Kathy Bates' as tutor to help the football star keep his grades up to snuff. I wish she had a few more lines in this movie but my favourite one was a cracker! Right before she accepted the position to work for the Tuohy family she had to declare some very pertinent information that may cause them not to hire her due to the fact that they were living in the deep conservative south. 'Well you see, Mrs. Tuohy, I - am a Democrat' . . . . . . .

                                        

Of course because this movie deals with an inter-cultural/inter-race adoption of sorts, it totally pulled on my heart strings. The one line that stood out the most and certainly hit very close to home here in this house was the line Sandra Bullock shot back to her snooty friends when they were playing the 'nice friend' card telling her how great she was and how she would change 'this boys life' - she replied 'No, he is changing mine' -

That is all the WiseWords I have for tonight!

WiseMóna